Comments on: HOT BLK SEX: Big Woman, Little Man

by: Terri

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:42:20 +0000

Okay, I don’t really have anything to add because everyone else has said it. You have got to stop sabotaging your relationship. If he did not love you as you are, you would not be wearing a ring proclaiming to all and sundry his committment to you and your future together. It’s sounds like it’s all coming from you, honey. And if you are a Team Chunk fraud, so what? There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a smaller size. NOTHING. The only thing wrong with being unhappy and insecure within yourself is wallowing in it and doing nothing to build yourself up and make those changes. Girl, stand up proud and own it all; your quirks, perks, imperfections and success. Your man is already standing with you.

by: JUANITA

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:36:50 +0000

My keyboard is acting up so decipher best you can. TRUTH is almost everyone, especially women, lament over size, shape, etc. I am taller than Art by almost 2 inches as well. I wear my heels and HE feels a way. The norm of society says he should be bigger, we should be in comparison, dainty. LOVE is most important. I thought about my wedding pics too!!! Maybe I will wear flats and he will get a lifted shoe!!!! But, that is as far as your worry should go! If you want to be healthier and trim some fat, go ahead! But, that is about health and living better. (Maybe it’s about tight dresses and minis too …He loves you and obviously thinks you’re sexy. LET US WOMEN START TO ENJOY OUR LIVES INSTEAD OF SABOTAGING AND RUINING IT WITH WORRY, GUILT, AND MISTRUST!

by: stokely

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:47:17 +0000

thank you for being so real and honest. I don’t know a single woman who has not felt self conscious about her body or weight at some point. I couldn’t quite read all the posts, but, I did glance at something that said that you won’t love yourself at any weight, unless you love yourself from the inside. I agree completely.

by: Nutuo2

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 17:27:12 +0000

Lemme tell you something…… You had better love that man and let him love you….Thank your lucky stars that you are a card carrying member of team chunk (cause that just means more of you to love) and that you are not m’ugly, smelly, and gasp and pause….dumb. Yeah you stand taller and have a little more brawn then Tiny Tim! So what!!!!!!!!!!!!! He has made the conscious and deliberate decision to love and be with you. Please let him. Even if you were on the thiny thin committee with me you’d have your fare share of worries… Chile… the slightest 5 pound gain and I swear I see rolls in places that never held fat before. And let’s not talk about wanting more of some things….
Love yourself like you love those babies. And tell yourself what you would tell them if they were feeling the way you do about this. You can see the beauty in them because you birthed them. For that you need to go and hug that body of yours and let home boy hug it too. You BIRTH royalty girl.
Now go have some red velvet cake!!!!!!!!

by: Black Shiva

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:49:02 +0000

Breathtaking honesty. I feel like the fraud reading this revelation. The brother loves you. It’s clear, and for good reason. You are mind-blowing. Beautiful, sexy, thick in the right places, intelligent. I understand the insecurity though. You (we all)are the products of decades submersion in the most intense subliminal and overt, media/cultural bombardment, that ever existed. Our likeness’ are profoundly devalued when we aint when we ain’t dunking or dancing. It would be enough to daunt Neo. Just keep lovin’ yaself, and your subconscious will get the message sooner or later.

by: Sherri

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 23:47:07 +0000

I understand how you feel. I’m a Team Thick chick, and the guy I’m seeing(for almost 8 months) is slim. He has not said a word about my weight, but I constantly apologize for the fact that I can’t wear the kind of clothes that I see slimmer girls in. Sex with him is wonderful, but I can see my gut, the cellulite on my thighs, and I wonder how the hell he’s okay with it, you know? So yeah, I have an idea of what you go through.

But let me tell you this. I know two women who rep Team Chunk. One is my cousin. She’s been with her husband since ‘95. She was a size 10 when she met him, was a size 18-20 when they got married in ‘01, and now she’s about a 22-24 after two kids. And he still loves the hell out of her. Gets mad when the 2-year-old comes into their bedroom into the middle of the night and blows all his sexy plans to Hades. *lol*

My other friend just got engaged to a guy she’s been with for about 8 years. Most guys look at her and turn the other way(she’s a big-bigguns, but really pretty and funny as HAYLE). I see them together all the time, laughing and joking, cheesing in the camera and going everywhere together. He’s got stars in his eyes, let me tell you.

I guess what I’m trying to tell you(and hopefully me too), is he proposed to you for a reason. Is getting tired of you making these arguments for a reason. Because he loves ALL of you. Outside as well as inside, and I guess he’s frustrated because you can’t see what he sees…and you can’t love what he loves. You’ve got to love all of you; but if you really want to change that Team Chunk status, go for it. But talk to him about it…cause if he loves you like you’ve said he does, he’ll be with you all the way!

by: Mandy

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 23:22:03 +0000

I’m an idiot for my typo. The last line of my rant should read as follows:

“If you don’t love yourself from within then you’ll be miserable at any weight.”

by: Mandy

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 23:19:34 +0000

Please stop sabotaging your happiness! I have done this many times over in relationships where the man is smaller than me and now that I look back, it was soooo stupid. You bring a TON of great things to the table so don’t give him the upper hand in your relationship by questioning why he would want to be with you. You should wonder why every other man you’ve dated hasn’t seen what your current man sees. I watched Oprah today and she was talking about falling off the Team Thin wagon and coming back to Team Chunk…she feels that it’s a love issue more than a weight issue. I believe that wholeheartedly. If you don’t love yourself from within that you’ll be miserable at any weight.

by: Ann-Marie

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 23:02:21 +0000

Maybe you use your sense of “security” with your weight as a coping mechanism for your insecurity. Does that make sense? Maybe you should pull a “Monique” from Phat Girlz and flip out in the mirror… just kidding. Maybe you could sit down with him and ask him what he likes about you physically, emotionally, and mentally. Then, you will be able to see what he likes about you through your own eyes…

by: Breeze

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:05:13 +0000

Girl, you need to stop lying to yourself and own the fact that it’s you and not him. Tell yourself the truth about what you want to accomplish this year. Will this be another year you sit and glot about weight and eat and eat to gain more weight. Stop hiding your feelings and have him help you because believe if size we’re an issue you would not be there. You must learn to love your self and honor the person in that mirror. Try this exercise. Tell yourself everyday fifty times a day in the mirror that you love what you see. Stand naked and love the skin your’e in. We women must learn to put ourselves back on the to do list. Kids, husbands, boyfriends, school events, work, etc. Do you ever take time for you? When was the last time you took a vacation by yourself? Ask yourself the tough questions and then speak honestly about it. I love you. Take good care of yourself and your family and I hope to connect soon. Breeze